I am a big believer in the power of clothes to make a person feel great. If you have followed my journey to body positivity, you will know that I have often mentioned the importance of wearing clothes that not only fit but that are reflective of your own personal style. Style is different for everyone and being a certain size should not have an impact on one’s ability to express their own style. I’ve always been a feminine girl and woman. As a pre-teen, when my mom and grandmother chopped off all my hair in an attempt to regenerate my childhood curls, I immediately felt out of place and I knew I would never have short hair again. I’ve gone on and off again with fake nails and gel manicures but have finally just included it in my monthly budget because I love the way having long nails makes me feel. Being feminine, dressing up and wanting to look pretty has never been for others, it has always been for me. Boudoir photography is very similar in that it is about being shamelessly feminine. It is about expressing your own sensual female energy and letting the camera absorb every drop. It is about being a powerful goddess.
So when I went through a rough breakup recently, one that was quite unexpected, I decided to do something different in an attempt to heal quickly. In the past, breakups have caused me some level of insecurity about my body and I refused to let that happen this time. After all this work on body positivity and radical self-love, I was not going to let this event take me off course. I decided a boudoir-themed shoot would probably be a perfect fit for me, at that exact moment. I love lingerie and because I had stocked up for Valentine’s Day, while still happily partnered, I had some brand new stuff to wear. Why not wear it in front of the camera? I reached out to Samantha Kidd of Crave Boudoir, which is based in Toronto, Ontario in Canada, because there is nothing like working with a female photographer when it comes to a lingerie shoot. Women have a way of making other women feel comfortable, just like a couple of friends getting ready for a party and snapping sexy photos along the way. So if this is something you choose to do, I highly recommend that you choose to work with a female photographer.
As a plus size or curvy woman, I never thought I would be able to wear thigh high stockings and a garter belt. In part, because I didn’t know where to find items like that, that would fit my body. You see my thighs are easily the thickest part of my body and so many thigh highs are labelled with what I call a lie, the dreaded “one size” label. Every plus size woman has been taunted by those words and how they scream at us that we don’t belong. That somehow we are flawed for not conforming to this standard one size that is somehow supposed to fit all. One size fits all is a myth and those labels should all be destroyed. Sorry, mini rant!
For me that all changed the first time I was able to visit Torrid in the Toronto Eaton’s Centre. They had stockings of all kinds available in my size and even a garter belt that was meant to be pretty instead of slimming. I was in love! If you ask the staff for help, they sometimes have open packages you can try before you buy. I found that super helpful in purchasing leggings from them as well. The lace garter belt has only four straps so I paired it with stockings that have the ability to stay up on their own, you know the type with that little silicone strip inside. These stockings have lace welts that perfectly compliment the garter itself like they were made to be worn together. I added a lined lace bra and a lined lace brief, although I have a lace thong from Torrid that would match perfectly as well.
I’ve always loved the look of a bralette, but again, as a plus size woman they were all too small for me. Not only did they never fully contain my breasts, they lacked any and all support that I needed. When I saw this red set online, I was doubtful it would work for me. But then I started to see some of my fellow curvy bloggers rocking it and I committed to giving it a try. Well, I’d have to say it worked out great! I love the bralette matched with the high waisted panty, but combined with it being a cage bra, it is basically a flawless combination. The red and black colouring is perfect for a sexy and seductive Valentine’s Day, as I had intended, but if you are single like me, you can happily rock this while chilling with Netflix solo. Finally, there are these frilly panties that I have wanted to wear for years, but could never find a pair to fit me properly. They were featured in one of my first ever bum selfies and now here they are as I celebrate loving my body exactly as it is. I no longer see any so-called flaws in these photos, I see a survivor and a self-confident beauty, who just wants to change the world.